Saturday, December 31, 2011

Last post of the year!!!!

2011 has been great, hard to top. Hoping 2012 at least gives a run for the money. Hoping it won't bring a zombie apocalypse or massive pandemic.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

2011 A year in review

7th annual year in review

Please note last years for reference.

What did you do in 2011 that you've never done before?
Became a Mother of 4!

Did you keep your New Year's resolutions and will you make more for next year?
My only resolution was not to have any, and I kept that. I am going to stick with that one. Same as last year... and the year before... and the year before that... and the year before that.

Did anyone close to you give birth?
Me!!!! And several others.

Did anyone close to you die?
Unfortunately my grandmother passed away last month. She was a devoted Christian woman and was ready to go and is no longer in pain.

What countries did you visit?
None.

What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
Well I got my baby that I asked for last year I honestly don't know how I could top that. Honestly I can't think of anything.

What date from 2011 will remain etched in your memory and why?
Halloween, Oct. 31, the day Heston was born.

What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Heston being born, and probably the fact it was a home birth with no complications.

What was your biggest failure?
While it was not my failure I regretted that Heston had to go to the NICU a couple of days after birth for dehydration and jaundice. But I grew from the experience so not all is lost and he is perfectly healthy now. I also regret losing our IFS contracts but all worked out in the end with that as well. I started my private practice, started working at Vista part time as a school based therapist, and I am back to doing the counseling contracts with Kathleen. I also still get more time with Ryker and Heston.

Did you suffer illness or injury?
Mastitis a couple of weeks ago, it was terrible.

What was the best thing you bought?
My midwife's services. I love going that route.

Where did most of your money go?
Student loan bills, Heston midwife, and now NICU bills.

What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Heston

What scripture is a theme of 2011?
James 1: 2-4 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." Same every year.


Compared to this time last year are you:
a. Happier or sadder? Definitely happier.
b. Thinner or fatter? fatter for obvious reasons. Got about 10 pounds left of baby weight. Might as well work on more after that.
c. Richer or poorer? Poorer, again for obvious reasons.

What do you wish you'd done more of?
Always spend more time with my family. Although I got to spend I good amount this year considering the lapse in my jobs plus this maternity leave.

What do you wish you'd done less of?
Maybe time on the internet.

How did you spend Christmas?
With my family!!! 3 days in a row and mine and Steven's parents and then home for Christmas with the kiddos. Just the way we like it. Same as last year.

Did you fall in love in 2011?
Yes, with a little baby named Heston.

What was your favorite TV show?
Watched a few on Netflix, but none are really my favorite.

What was the best book you read?
Read some Frank Peretti books. So far This Present Darkness is my fav. Have two others of his I need to read still, Prophet and Piercing the Darkness.

What was your greatest musical discovery of 2011?
Loving me some Adele. Also the young Greyson Chance from Oklahoma.

What did you want and get?
Heston.

What did you want and not get?
IFS contract.

What was your favorite film this year?
Breaking Dawn part 1.

What did you do on your birthday?
I think we went out to eat. It was low key.

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Hmm, not sure, last year it was a baby, now I got that I don't know.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
Comfy but trendy. Still the same.

What kept you sane?
Alone time, family time, sleep, massages, church, and working out. Same every year.

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
none I suppose.

What political issue stirred you the most?
economy

Who did you miss?
Still the same, my friends from home, and family.

Who was the best new person you met?
I call him Heston in case I haven't said it yet.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.
Life is fragile, but I knew that already. I also learned that I can withstand a lot more than I knew. When Heston went into the NICU there was a part of me that thought we would lose him. I almost lost it that day. Closest to insanity I have ever been. With the help of loved ones and their prayers and God's grace Heston, Steven, and I both made it through.

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Days go by, Lifehouse
"So don't sit back and watch the days go by
Are you ever gonna live before you die
And when things fall apart
The world has come undone
Leave it all behind
Leave the loneliness alone
You wait forever blind

So come on and leave the years
When you watched the days go by
Come on and leave the fears
That you were afraid to find
Cause while you wait inside
The days go by"

Monday, December 26, 2011

Christmas 2011

This year I got the gift I have wanted for over 2 years now. He is 8 weeks old today. Other than that I was pretty happy with expecting none other than comfort and joy everything else was just icing on top. I see why those two are particular in certain Christmas songs. With a very busy and sometimes overwhelming life comfort and joy cannot be topped. We did our usual Christmas day at home. Christmas eve was spent at my sisters house in Coalgate, OK, and the night before we were at my Mother in laws. Kids of coarse got lots of stuff and had a blast. I am spending today doing none other than relaxing with the little man while the rest of the bunch plays with everything.















Friday, December 16, 2011

Heston growing









Party Pics












Wired differently? Nah just God's grace.

Sadly, this is my first post this month despite all that has happened. We went to my granny's funeral and it was just how she would have wanted it. No sad music and a celebration of her life! Afterwards at my Papaw's house I located those old skates that I used to skate in and broke down. It's funny how it happens, fine one minute the next, bam! It was a good cry though, from a bunch of happy memories hitting me at once. Those skates were given to me and my Papaw even told me about how he met my Granny... at a skating rink! Thought that was awesome. He and my Granny's sister also told me about how much she loved to skate and how good she was. Also thought that was pretty cool. She also had print outs of newspaper articles that were about me including my derby stuff. She never told me she did that. Unfortunately we couldn't stay long as it was on a Wednesday and had to get back.

That weekend was Kieran's birthday and hers and Zoe's party at our house. I will post pics later, still have a lot to download off the camera. The party was already planned that day otherwise considering the funeral early in the week it was bad timing.

I have been trying to work a few hours on Wednesdays since one of my friends from church offered to watch Ryker and Heston for me. Wasn't quite ready for the holidays this year. They sprung up on me. With Heston being born and then NICU right after, shopping has not been on my to do list. We did manage to get some things bought on Amazon. Wouldn't bother me in the future if we did everything online.

This past Sunday I woke up with a sore breast from Heston going a little longer between feeding. He normally nurses all night long. Not that night and it got me. I got up and pumped but it was still sore. I went to church and felt fine in Sunday School but once church started I was not feeling to good. After church was over the chills and fever hit. I went home and wrapped under covers. I knew I had mastitis, no doubt in my mind. I even had to miss the church's yearly Christmas dinner that night and auction. I hated that. The next morning with red lines appearing on my breast, which is not a good thing, I broke down and called my APN who called in some antibiotics. Started taking them that afternoon but I didn't start feeling like myself for nearly 48 hours. Normally I respond within 24 with most infections. The fever and chills were the worst. I felt sharp shooting pains everywhere. Tylenol wouldn't last long at all and due to my allergy to NSAID's I suffered without ibuprofen for a long time until I broke down and took some children's. I felt like I was playing Russian Roulette every time though. My fever was near 103 so I really didn't have a choice and it was either that or go to the hospital, which I probably should have done. But I am on the mend now and also taking some lecithin for prevention. That was worse than the flu and I never want it again if I can help it.

Through out the whole sickness I still took care of Heston and Ryker during the day and Heston even at night. It was during this that I realized I am not wired normal after having babies as most are. I have described my euphoria before that I know is unnatural. But throughout all this I still felt so blessed and happy. The baby blues are very common, some estimate it affects nearly 80% of women who give birth. That is just hormones mostly balancing out. There is also a good number who have PPD (Postpartum depression) which is a pretty good number as well and chances grow higher with significant issues after birth, such as deaths, sicknesses, stress, etc. Hmm, I have dealt with all of those and God's grace has carried me through. Heston in the NICU was enough to send me over the edge, and boy was I close when I thought I would lose him. My hope and his grace got me through that. I look back at it and see so much growth during that time. Granny's death was a sadness and also a blessing. She lived a great full life but had been suffering for a few months. She knew where she was going and is no longer in pain. Then my sickness I realized my patience level is better than I thought. I also patted myself on the back for still being able to take care of an infant when I was barely able to manage myself. In all of this I could have given up and took the opposite route that I did.

Now don't get me wrong, it would be nice if things would calm down a bit and no more huge things happen. I could use some calmness to find what normal is right now and some sleep. After all they say things happen in three's. That is 3 big things in my mind. They also say that when it comes to troubles everyone is either going into some, in the middle of some, or just getting out of some. I pray mine is just the coming out of it.

Tonight is our Sunday School couples class Christmas party. We are eating at a little pizzaria in Siloam Springs. My friend from church's (who has been watching Ryker and Heston) brother owns it and it is awesome. The kids will have their own party at the church. Heston of coarse will go with me. Looking forward to some calm fun. :)