Kieran's 18th birthday!

 Posting this early since this day is going to be packed. But I have some thoughts so I need not to be rushed.

18 years today! I've been struggling somewhat lately with you turning 18. My 18th birthday marked the start of my most difficult year I've ever faced. Less than three weeks after I turned 18 I left for the Navy and I lived what felt like a whole lifetime of ups and very low downs in that one year. All of them led me to where I am today, but not unscathed. It ended with a week before I turned 19 I got married. I've talked about my fears to you. What good is it to keep what I learned to myself?

But here we are...

You're already in a better position than I was and for that I'm extremely grateful. You're already in college. I fought hard to go and push through with a diagnosis of epilepsy and meds that made it hard to do the simplest tasks, plus the depression that came with it. Your goals are way more clear to you and your vision to get there is sound. My goals were just trying to find the will to live. Most days that was very difficult.

But I made it through the grace of God and here I am praying that my pain had a purpose. I pray you continue to be hopeful, joyful, loving, resilient, and strong. I pray this all for your upcoming marriage as well. I know many see you marrying young as crazy. But for me and your dad, it was a light at the end of a very dark tunnel. But it was difficult and I won't minimize that.

I pray your year is full of grace and blessings. I pray you conquer each goal you set your eyes on. Keep your eyes focused on the things that matter and ignore the unnecessary noise. I pray you take care of yourself and your health. Don't take it for granted.

I'm glad I didn't struggle like this with Gage, but I see the variables are different. I wish you an amazing birthday and 18th birth year. I love you and I'm so proud of you. You're everything I wished I was at 18. Now go and make the world a better place.