Understanding my role

I have been thinking a lot about perception lately. Mostly on my weekly trips to Ft. Smith on Mondays. Long stretches of highways are the best way to reflect. I often wonder how people perceive me upon our meeting. I have been told on many occasions that I am hard to read, either that or I seem stuck up. I see nothing wrong with that honestly because there is no trickery involved, nor conceit, I am also not hiding anything. Truth be known, while people are trying to get a feel for me, more than likely I am getting a feel for them. My engagement just requires less emotion, at least on my face. It is no secret that I also keep a tight wall. I am cordial to all, just few ever really get through the actual interview process. Seems every year it gets even more tight. Again, I am not bothered by this. I know it seems at times I am rather anti-social, and maybe I am to some degree. I guess my priorities are just different than most. No biggie. I have also found quite a bit of comfort in this particular role. The biggest reason being, I have found absolutely little to no drama in my life. It is soothing really. Never been too keen on it anyways. I also like to keep an eye out for those who tend to attract it, in order to keep my distance. This is one of the many things I do when I people watch. I of course am attracted to similar minded people. And thankfully I have found several here and there.

Another sad, yet interesting part of my thinking involves constant concern regarding the mental stability of people. Seems with each passing class towards graduation I find that mental illness and personality disorders are much more rampant than most would like to admit or believe. This of course weighs heavily on how involved I tend to get with others. Needless to say I find my self keeping my distance on those who score high in certain areas. Unfortunately, many statistics show that up to 25% of the population suffers from such illnesses and disorders. 1 out 4 is way to high to let just anyone in. After all you wouldn't let someone you barely know into your home, so why should it be any different for your life. I know several of you are probably reading this and thinking, "this is why she doesn't talk on the phone", or "so this is why she doesn't go out." Actually no, truth is, I hate talking on the phone, and bars are way to darn smoky for me, especially since my last pregnancy when I seem to have developed a severe case of smoke sickness. Anytime I smell just a little I get severly nauseated.
If anything I just wanted to clarify what is going on in my mind when you are trying to determine if I am just dumb or stuck up. But if it makes you feel better to think one of those then by all means continue. It makes no iota of difference to me.