Tuesday, February 10, 2009


The past two nights I have had dreams of "The End". The first entailed me being on a trip somewhere and all the sudden large fiery balls were being thrown on the Earth by a large entity in a castle in the sky. I did not identify this "being" as God himself in the dream, strangely enough I heard someone say Zeus. Anyways, destruction was everywhere and everyone was running away from the next blast of fire. The girl I was with, no one from my real reality, seemed to share certain characteristics with Taylor Swift. She was able to gauge where the fire would fall and be able to run away before they hit. I stuck with her and avoided the fire as much as I could until I awoke from my slumber. Awake, I realized my usual dream powers were not present. I was unable to fly, move things with my mind, or run through walls and other things. That is not typical.

Last nights dream was even worse. Something was happening with the air in the atmosphere. One of it's main components was slowly diminishing... the oxygen portion! There was no light in this dream, it was all at night. Many people were already gone. The only people I remember was Steven, Ryker, an I. I do not know where Gage and Kieran was. Ryker was the first to be affected by it. In and out of consciousness, he started throwing up stuff similar to foam. I knew it was only a matter of time and I hated seeing him suffer. By this time Steven and I were struggling to breathe as well. Strangely enough, even though this was a dream, I can vividly remember the struggle to grasp a normal breathe. Again I was not able to use dreamlike powers to escape. Nothing was said when I grabbed the silver revolver on my right. How it got there I do not know. Steven was standing there with the look of sorrowful certainty. Without any specific gestures I knew what had to be done. Again, I vividly remember "checking out" or removing myself from any emotion that would keep me from what I felt I had to do. Suffering was no longer an option. Steven looked at me, then turned his head. I raised the gun and shot once, in his head. Again, I refrained from feeling what could have stopped me from continuing. Ryker was held in a cradle position in my left arm as I stood there. I couldn't put him down for this. So I held him when I did what I had to do to end his suffering. Immediately following with myself, with not even a full 3 seconds later. I woke up. Went to the bathroom to think about what just happened. Normally with bad dreams I often will wake up panting, sweating, or yelling. I did neither with this one. I just sat there is almost a state of shock.

As I write this I feel the emotion that alluded me. I told Steven my dream early this morning. His usual 'hmmmm' followed. Obviously he is not one to understand super vivid life like dreams. Even after times where I have been so mad at him in dreams due to ridiculous things and still end up being mad at him the day after and it wasn't even real. I can't help but get the movie "The Others" out of mind. I have hundreds of vivid dreams, these were worth blogging due to the general nature of the subject.

Trying to interpret my dreams and the only thing I can think of..... IT"S ALL THIS DANG ECONOMY CRAP!!!!! Trying to dodge the "fires", i.e. fireing! No oxygen, i.e. slow suffocation from all the pressures and insurmountable debt of this country! And well, the gun part... the news has already suggested this as being some peoples "only way out". However, I would never in million years go that far due to debt.

The only thing I can come up with is to stop reading the news.

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