Sunday, February 19, 2006

Hate the constant dread!!

Every weekend it is the same. Even though I have tomorrow off I dread going back to work on Tuesday. It is always the same, and they wonder why I want out. Now when I am there it is ok most of the time, but stressful none the less. I talked to my mom the other night and while she is supportive, she doesn't understand why I can't just take a leave of absense instead of quitting altogether. Why I would love to take a leave of abscense I do not think it will help in the long run. I mean the problem is the job itself. The constant being away from my family, having the stress of the judicial system every week ( I mean if you have it once a year it is bad enough but every freaking week), and the ability to get burnt out on school and everything else I hold dear. At least Steven is being supportive, but I know he just wants the best for me. I am crying as I type this, I guess part of that is being pregnant, I have been an emotional wreck. Why do I feel like I am trapped? This job is like a prison term! Nobody cares about the welfare of our caseworkers, yet they complain of the high turnover rate. I have suggested contracting out a counselor for us but of course I get that laughed at. And why is it so freaking hard to get more hirees to lessen caseloads? I mean they interview a bunch of people, then "packets" get sent to the state office and then it takes 2 months to hire someone. I mean why?? And hire freezes, I don't understand that! So they think we are almost fully staffed...Ha, that is a joke. we will not be fully staffed until we can get enoug workers to get the work done. It may be ok for the state to assume we won't get everything done but yet at the same time hold us accountable for it. It is just rididuculous! They don't care, and the problem continues. No wonder people hate DHS! Ok I need to stop I am on a tangent...again. But I swear nobody else will listen.

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